The grass is always greener on the other side....

There are days when this stay at home mom dreams of being a career girl. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, love my life, yada, yada, yada. But after a day of wiping butts, whining kids and spit up stained clothes, a girl starts to fantasize. I think what it would be like to get up in the morning and get ready to go to "the office." It even sounds cool. I'd put on my tailored power suit, pumps, jewelry, the whole bit. I'd drop the kids off, turn off Veggie Tales and put on some jamming tunes as I cruised into Starbucks for a Giant-Grande-Mocha-Frappe-Latte or whatever it is that they charge a pretty penny for. I'd pull up to work in my fancy car and strut into my comfy office building and do....stuff. I don't know what kind of stuff I'd do, but it wouldn't have anything to do with poop, that's a fact jack. I'd eat lunch out at a place that didn't sell Happy Meals and I'd even pick up take out for dinner. Man, that'd be the life! Or would it?

Now you see, for every stay at home mom like me dreaming about "the other side", there's a mom sitting in an office wishing for what I've got. She'd give her right arm to trade in her Italian pumps for Nikes and the power suit for sweats. A Happy Meal with her kid would beat that overpriced gourmet stuff any day. She'd trade in her perfume for the smell of spit up.

I think we all sometimes fall into the trap of thinking the grass is greener on the other side. We stay at home moms can especially get worn down when the other life seems so glam. So what that getting dressed up means waiting for the rare date with my hubby or that the only time I hit a Starbucks is well, never. I'm going to slip out of my imaginary Italian shoes and stick my feet in the grass, on MY side of the fence and realize that it feels pretty good. And you know what? I'll gladly munch on a Happy Meal any day!!!

Good enough

The question was recently posed in an online group that I'm apart of, "how do you balance it all?" You know, the cooking the cleaning, the "me" time. Well, motherhood is a little bit like walking a balance beam, except you have one leg, and you're blindfolded, and your arms are tied behind your back. Oh yeah, and this is the OLYMPICS, so all eyes are on you and the pressure is on to do it right.

Seriously though, isn't that what motherhood feels like? Trying to do it right with lots of things going against you? You feel like you are in the spotlight and you're expect to do it all.

But maybe this is where we go wrong. The pressure, that is. You know that feeling when you are trying to do something just perfect and you're nervous? Hands shaking. Butterflies in your tummy. And you mess up. Why? Because you were trying too hard! You have put so much pressure on yourself that you're a nervous wreck. And you fail....

We pressure ourselves as moms (and wives) to do it all. The house must be spotless, each child must have had an equal amount of personal attention, cookies must be in the oven, dinner on the table and then we still have to have time to volunteer at the school and go to the spa with "the girls."

Really? I could clone myself and still not get my to-do list done everyday. And guess what? That's okay! Somedays I come pretty close to "having it all." But most days if I feel accomplished in one area, it's because I've let another one go. Sure I've played board games with the kids all day, but my house is such a wreck you probably need a tetanus shot just to walk through the front door.

So repeat after me, "good enough." Yep, it's that simple. No, I didn't get the bathroom Martha Stewart clean today, but I scraped the toothpaste off the mirror and rinsed the ring out of the bathtub. "Good enough." I didn't have time to make a gourmet dinner, but that simple chicken and rice really hit the spot. "Good enough." I didn't get to the spa today, but I caught up with an old friend on the telephone. "Good enough." Oh, and helping out at the school consisted of sending in a bag of Oreos, instead of staying up all night making perfectly decorated cupcakes. "Good enough." Seriously, Martha Stewart tried that whole perfect homemaker thing and look where it got HER!

And tonight as my head hits the pillow, I don't feel as guilty as when I was trying to walk that balance beam and just couldn't do it. My kids are tucked in bed and they are happy. My hubby doesn't have a stressed out wife. I don't feel like a frazzled, train wreck of a person. No, tonight as I lay my head down, on my pillowcase (that I forgot to wash), I say to myself "good enough."

Cowboy boots, strut what ya got...

Letting your kids be who they are can be tough, especially when it's the polar opposite of who you are. I'll be the first to admit that this is a challenge for me. The first time I remember really giving in was when the twins were about two. They had gotten cowboy boots as a birthday gift and they were in LOVE. Well, let's just say I'm not a cowboy boots kind of girl. I'm more the high heels type, if you know what I mean. I vividly remember how much I hated those boots!! But the first time I gave in and let them wear them out somewhere was a life changer. Watching them strut around in those boots with their little girlie dress no less, melted my heart!

And with five kids God is constantly finding new was to stretch me in this area. Take my nine year old for instance who loves his 30+ stuffed animals. He is seriously pushing my anti-clutter buttons-hard!! Then there's the girls who love garage sale knicknacks. A gene they definitely did not get from me. Last, but not least is Jordan. My beautiful, baby girl who loves to dress like Punky Brewster (remember the old tv show?) A typical Jordan ensemble might be a crazy printed dress, mismatched striped tights that clash, of course with her ladybug mud boots, topped off with about 10 pieces of jewelry and her orange hat. I've learned to shrug off the funny looks at the grocery store. I know they are wondering if I was the one who dressed her like that.

As different as they are though, I'm also reminded of the pieces of me they have in them, too. I catch Jake with his nose in a book and smile knowing I'd be doing the same thing if I could. Genna who loves everything organized, yep me again! Grace who cries along with me watching sappy movies or listening to tender songs. Then there's Spencer who would eat all day if he could-definitely inherited from me!! My kids are a mix of old and new and I wouldn't have it any other way! I've realized that God made them each unique in so many ways and I'm not about to be the one to put out the fire!