Authentic Motherhood and Sufficient Grace

I realize often what a hot mess of a Christian I am. There are days I feel like a complete failure. I look at the seven little faces that I mother and wonder how I can teach them anything when I often feel like a dropout  student myself. When I slip and say something I shouldn't; when I tell them to be kind, yet I'm quick to anger, when I tell them to have faith and then I doubt. Sometimes I feel like I mother by "do as I say, not as I do." Those are the days the Devil says to me, "you are not enough."

Motherhood is by far the toughest job out there. There is no Employee Manual to refer to, (for Pete's sake they just let us walk out of the hospital with human being!), no Human Resource Department to voice complaints. You won't get the opportunity to park in the "Employee of the Month" spot. Heck, you may not even get to park in your own garage if your teenager keeps forgetting to take out the trash. And we all feel the eyes of the critics out there. Like a societal Siskel and Ebert, critiquing our parenting abilities. Let's be honest, being a mama is hard and being a Christian mama is probably even harder. Yep, I just said that. It's harder because we know that one day we will give account for the children God gave us. We want to do right by God and by our kids.

I won't lie, I feel the pressure. I want so much for my kids. I want so much to please God and for my kids to please God. One day after I had totally not measured up to where I wanted to be/should have been/could have been as a mom and as a wife. I felt like I'd sort of hit rock bottom. It was then when Christ softly whispered to me, "my grace is sufficient."

Sufficient? Sufficient to mother 7 different kids and all their individual needs, all while falling short myself? Yep, sufficient enough for that. The cool (and scary) thing about kids is that they can smell a phony a mile away. They will call you out on your lack on integrity faster than instant oats. But your kids aren't expecting you to be perfect, they are expecting you to be authentic.

Authentic in how you live your life. They expect you to try every day to live what you say, even if you fall short. They expect you to apologize when you mess up. The expect you to expect THEM to walk the walk and talk the talk when you are living authentically yourself.

Authenticity isn't about measuring up to an unattainable bar of perfection. Which is a good thing, because I'm a weak and sinful person. I'm glad my Savior said, "my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor 12:9) When I'm covered in his grace and mercy, his love and kindness I am enough. Maybe I'm even the most "enough" when I'm at my weakest.

So, mama when you're feeling like you don't measure up, like you are not enough, remember that the Savior you fully trust in to take away your sins, is also the Savior that will cover you in his grace and mold you and make you in the mother he desires. Open up his word and let him fill you. His grace and mercy is enough. Through Him, YOU are enough.

Hang in there, your "Employee of the Month" parking spot is just around the corner....

If You Love Something, Set It Free

What I'm about to share with you is nothing new. The Bible even tells us "there is nothing new under the sun." But a thought profoundly struck me today. People, Christian and not, often get angry at what God "allows." The evils and hurts of this world often are more than we can sometimes stomach.


The truth is, God has given us a free will. We can choose to seek Him and His ways or not. Sometimes when people choose the "not", it manifests itself in ugly ways. I've often contemplated why God gave us a choice to love Him or not, to follow Him or not, to obey Him or not.


Being a parent has opened my eyes in countless ways to how God must see us, must love us as our Heavenly Father. When I discipline my children and it hurts both me and them, I know how God must feel when he corrects us. When I see my child in pain from a shot, but know it's for their better good, I know how God must feel when he allows us to go through a painful life experience for our better good.


And today the concept of free will really took hold. My two year old daughter is a smart, witty and trying little girl, but her spirit and spunk is something I love so much about her. Yet, she is using every ounce of patience I have some days! I've often looked at people who had very obedient kids. Not just good kids, but almost robotic kids. Honestly, it made me more okay with the fact that I have strong willed kids! Here's why:


I don't want to just beat my kids into submission until there is no longer any semblance left of their beautiful, God-given traits. I don't want a child who tells me they love me because they've been told to or does nice things for me just because it's their duty. I want a child who has a choice, a free will.


Did you ever think that maybe God is the same? He wants us to CHOOSE to love him, honor him, give him good gifts and every part of ourselves, to willing love Him. When we tell God thank you, because we are truly thankful and not just because we are required to, it must be sweet music in His ears. A concept we know from raising our own children. Telling your child "say thank you" and them saying it, sure isn't the same as that sweet unprompted "thank you, mama!"


Sure free will and the resulting sin that God has allowed sometimes sucks eggs, but aren't you thankful He gave us a choice. So when the weight of sin and evil in this world seems to much to bear, tell God you are thankful for the choices He allows you to make and thankful that He gave you the choice to choose Him willing....



If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. -Richard Bach