A little less talk, a lot more action

Hang on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a doozy of a blog post. I'm a little riled up and this blog may seem self serving, but it comes from a place of wanting no one else to go through the let down we've had. To say our family has been through the wringer would be a massive understatement. In the past couple of years we've had a child diagnosed with a severe physical disability and shortly after that diagnosis we almost lost him, my husband and I both lost our dads, my husband made a few job changes and was diagnosed with cancer, we had two babies and had heart condition scares with both, we've begun caring for my aging mother in law. Trust me the list goes on and some of the heartaches are far too personal to post. Oftentimes in circumstances such as these, peoples faith in God is shaken. For me my faith in God became rock solid, but my faith in people was shattered into oblivion. Now don't get me wrong, there are people who have come out of the woodwork and went out of there way to be there for us. Those people I could never thank enough. But there are those who have let us down when we need them most and it was like a knife to the heart. I'm writing this post, because I've talked to so many others who have been through much in their lives and the story is often the same as ours. The disappointment and hurt of those around them not being there when needed most, hurt them as much as it has for us. I'm going to be really blunt here. I believe there are a few "cop out" statements that people use. The first is "let me know if you need anything." Let's be honest, when is the last time someone called you up and said, "hey, remember you said if I ever need anything? Well, I need..." Seriously, 99.9% of people aren't going to tell you they need something, but 99.9% of people going through troublesome times need SOMETHING. SO, if you know someone is going through a hard time-just do something! Bring them a meal, babysit their kids, pick up the phone and call them, send them a note, give them a gift card or a bag of groceries and the list goes on. Do you know that when my dad passed NO ONE called me. Nope, no one. I got one sympathy card and my 90 year old aunt brought us a meal. That lack of caring hurt almost as much as my dad dying. Second, "cop out" phrase-"I'll pray for you." Yep, I just said that. Don't get me wrong. I believe in the power of prayer probably more than most, but it seems to be the Christian pass to not do a dang thing. Sure prayers are appreciated, but they aren't the most practical thing to offer. People seem to think that they've done their part by offering a word of prayer, but let's pull out a Bible verse here. "1 Cor 13:13-And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." Charity in the Bible has often been defined as "love in action." So God says the "greatest" of these is charity or love in action. I have a feeling that he meant doing more than saying you'll pray for someone. People going through difficult times NEED people. Sure God is our rock, but even God needed people (that's is why he created them after all.) So, if you offer a word of prayer-great, but also offer something a little more tangible! Third, "cop out" and it's not a phrase, but an action. The Facebook cop-out. If you are a reasonably close friend or family member, sending your condolences on Facebook is NOT enough. Pick up the dern phone, stop by someone's house, something!! Facebook has changed the world and not for the better. We've become so impersonal and so inundated with information that we have become callous to the hurt right in front of us. People often get news out via Facebook, because it's a quick and easy way to inform the masses, but the return feedback needs to be more than a Facebook "comment." Let me wrap it up by saying, if you are not going through a difficult circumstances yourself surely you can find a little bit of yourself to give. (And oftentimes, the even those going through their own difficulties find a way to help others.) Be willing to go out of your way, be RELIABLE (the last thing someone in difficult times needs is you to create another problem for them), be a listening ear (don't tell someone about your car trouble when they just told you their spouse has cancer.) If you can't do something big, then do something little. Almost anyone can send a card in the mail, pick up a gallon of milk for a family who just spend there entire day (week/month) at the hospital or make a phone call and say "how are ya?" I'm writing this while my emotions are still raw and real in the midst of my husband's cancer ordeal. It is not meant to be a self-serving post, but a post that will hopefully open people's eyes to the hurting world around them and cause them to take action. Or as the song goes, "a little less talk and alot more action."